So my friend and i was wanting to have a sleep over and the day came on a Saturday . so he got hear and he brought his bike as we like to ride so we went to go for a ride in the street we went to the shop to mess around next minute every one disappeared my friend and i were left alone in the dark we could here some screams that is when my friend and i new we should run we sore the enter trance we grabbed our bikes and my mate is very indulgent he has good direction and directed me back home
Great effort Henry! I love the atmosphere you created and the strong sense of suspense.
One thing to work on is reduce the use of the word “so” and create more sentences instead.
Something else is to be careful with the meaning of indulgent. The way you used it probably shows you were looking for the meaning of “resourceful”.
You could have said: my mate is very indulgent and he forgave me my mistake (but then of course it has to make sense with the rest of the story).